In this new age of logic, proof, and a wealth of information, why am I so confused about everything? In our world, proof is a paradox and all logic is fuzzy. I can never know if something is absolutely true because there are too many compromising questions. We live within a system of opinions and arguments- the last good argument provides the current theory.
To fully believe in something, I have to disprove every piece of compromising data. Even personally experiencing something doesn't offer enough proof. People may never believe you and you may not believe yourself looking back on your dreamlike infestation of memories. Ever said to yourself, "Maybe I'm just crazy."
I look back on a few examples in my life. I remember I had a bunch of planter's warts on my feet wen I was a kid. I started taking some Vitamin B- with the intention of just getting more vitamins- and a few months later they all disappeared. Was it the Vitamin B? Or did they just suddenly decide to go away.
When I was 12 I went to a Tourettes fundraiser concert because I had Tourettes. It was in a building with a small stage and a movie theater sized audience; all sitting. Behind the audience were the camera men and behind them was the sound booth. I got bored and decided to sneak into the sound booth. On both sides of the camera men were long stairs. I sat down on the lowest part of the right side (facing the stage) and inched backwards as the bands played. After a few minutes, I had made it to the door so I quickly stood up and walked in.
The sound booth had three rooms. There were walls with doorless doors separating each. The two side parts were entrances and were very dark. The middle part was the sound booth where the sound technician was carefully watching... er, listening to the show to make sure the sound was perfect. As softly as I could, I'm pretty sure I had taken my shoes off before creeping up the stairs, I walked into the main room behind the man in the sound booth. Inches away. I crossed behind him and entered the opposite room. He must have had headphones on, but honestly, I don't remember.
On this side of the room was a ladder leading to a catwalk above the stage. So I climbed it. Slowly. And then there I was, above the audience, above the stage and the playing band. I wasn't in clear view or anything, there was a ceiling. The lights were up here, so a person walked used the catwalk to set up the lights before a show. After a few minutes I went back. I climbed down the ladder and exited on the side I was one. I inched my way down the shallow stairs. On the second to last stair, a cameraman looked over and saw me. That was it.
Is it true? I swear it. But even when I look back on it I can't seem to picture it. It was ten years ago. It seems crazy, it doesn't make any sense.
Did I tell you about the guy who thought he knew me, followed me until I bolted around a corner to my car, and then when I pulled around to get a second look he grabbed a stop sign and bent it over to his knees?
Do you believe me? Or do you think I'm nuts. I know when people tell me crazy stories i have a hard time believing them. Especially if they're over ninety and won't stop jabbering about the past even though I have no idea who they are and I just happened to sit next to them at Denny's.
On the other side of the crazy train are the people who believe some of the craziest bullshit you've ever heard. And they really do believe it. They can disprove every bit of information you show them.
For example:
The Flat Earthers
Time Cube
A Whole Bunch Of Conspiracy Theories
Conspiracy theories prove that we can never taste the sweet lovin' of undeniable truth.
So. Did Michael Jackson ever touch that kid in that place? Is Michael Vick actually sorry? We only know what we are told. What we are told was told to someone else. Plus the fact that people can say whatever they want, whenever they want.
Does this frustrate anyone else? I WANT to KNOW the TRUTH about everything but I just CANT. I just can't.
The worst part is that, I don't even know truths about myself. I can't decipher my own feelings. I dated my previous girlfriend for three years and asked my self every day "Do I love her?" No. Yes. No. I don't know. Am I tricking myself? Am I convincing myself? On this day I felt this way. On that day I felt that way. This thing never clicked, but this thing did. I DONT EVEN KNOW MY OWN FEELINGS. And I never will. I just had to weigh the pros and cons, the bits of evidence I could piece together, and trust that I made the right decision.
Trust.
Politics.
Plenty of people believe Obama is a terrorist. They have their proof. I believe that Obama is a good guy and honestly wants to change government for the better. I have my proof. So is he trustworthy?
Plenty of people believe the Republican Party is full of scumbags, liars, and thieves only looking out for number one. How true is it? Is there really a shadow government? Are presidents just puppets? Do they know they're puppets? Do they actually believe most of what they say? Is there a group of people that really wants to keep screwing the American people? Is Osama Bin Laden truly a terrorist? Is the bailout a big scam?
Who. Really. Knows.
The world is full of evidence but no judge. We are the jury and we can deliberate as long and as hard as we want, but we can only provide theories.
And what about bias? My beliefs are so peppered in bias, I could marinate a steak every time I pissed.
I don't want to go into bias right now. It's a larger subject that I thought. Save it for later.
I'll end with a note on Atheism. Though Atheism has seen vast growth recently, I don't think it will last. Atheism has become popular with our society's appropriate acceptance of logic and science. Since you can't 'prove' that God exists, less and less people believe in him. The values of science have started to overcome the values of faith. But, as it starts to become clear how hard it is to prove anything, Atheism will die down.
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2 comments:
Michael Jackson doesn't touch kids. He makes good music. This expresses my views better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8ZrlO0C4B4
That video is perfect. I can't believe I forgot about it.
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