Read it and weep, WALL-E

I'm going to make this post short since my last post also happened to be a ranting review - and it was very long. Plus, no one wants to get labeled a meany, do they?

WALL-E was cool, sometimes funny, mostly mellow, and sort-of thought provoking. I remember thinking to myself, "Why would a ship full of lazy, overweight people who have had nothing but fun and free food want to go back to Earth: the dumpster. I correct myself, WALL-E made neat little piles of all the trash in the world, except for the garbage that littered the outside of his trailer.

Speaking of a futuristic world filled with garbage and advertising - anyone see Idiocracy?

Writing the latter latter paragraph made me think of something else. Why were there so many advertisements on the ship? Those people have been on a cruise for 700 years. I don't think money is an issue. (Everything was free, right?)

I'm going to compare audience reactions to things in the movie to audience reactions to those same things in real life.

WALL-E is a sensitive, nerdy robot with low self-esteem.
Real Life: Shut up, WALL-E. Keep it to yourself. Need a hanky?
Movie Life: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

EVE is a quick tempered, trigger-finger that cares more about her job than a relationship.
Real Life: WALL-E, this is an intervention. We're here to tell you that if you don't break up with that crazy woman, she'll mentally destroy you. You'll be an abused, slave husband for the rest of your life.
Movie: LOL Did you see her nearly disintegrate WALL-E? This is amazing.

To put it simply, both of our protagonists are bitches.

The next paragraph contains a spoiler. But honestly, if you've seen any other movie before, just apply your knowledge and this won't ruin anything.

AT THE END of the movie... (That was to scare off those people that really don't want to read a spoiler but continue to read naturally). At the end of the movie, everyone in the theater got quiet and a little teary-eyed. WALL-E had just been crushed by the plant hibernation stand and wasn't moving. He may have been dead... I had mildly enjoyed the movie until this point, but now, I started sinking back into my chair. I started getting a little angry - I'm short tempered when it comes to these things. My head felt heavy, like I had too much to drink, and my fingers started clinching subconsciously.

It took about 10 minutes for him to come back to life. That's a long time when you aren't suspending your disbelief. Did you really think Pixar was going to kill our cute, whiny protagonist at the end? Of course not, it wouldn't be qualified as a family movie. Instead it would be another emotionally distressing Indie flick. Once you realize that, it's just a waiting game.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just gotten out of Hancock, in which the exact same thing happens.

Here's my bet. List the last 10 movies you saw. I bet 5 of them had endings like this.